Somewhere in a cushy, air-conditioned lounge; car seat designers are drinking wine and having a HUGE laugh at our expense. Because hidden amongst all of the safety features, I kid you not, is a poonami feature. Which is GUARANTEED to turn any of your baby’s poops – no matter how small and innocent – into a full blown shit-from-chin-to-toes-poonami.
Every. Freaken. Time.
I rolled into my Dad’s house this morning with the baby dressed only in a nappy – the gorgeous summery outfit I had dressed her in, now soaked in shit and scrunched into a nappy-sack in the back of the car. It’s a hot day and the only spare outfit I have for her is a winter suit which was shoved in the bottom of the nappy bag – far too hot and a size too small. She’ll be fine in a just a nappy until I can get to the shops and get her something else to wear.
First we’ll visit Grandma.
Grandma, being the ripe old age of 96, is sitting in her chair in trousers and a jumper. The sight of my chubby (sweaty) baby, dressed in only a nappy, is too much for the dear Old Girl. But my dear Grandma doesn’t like to upset anyone or make a fuss, so she starts dropping ‘subtle’ hints:
“Oh, she’s so sweet. I like to see them bundled up though.”
“They’re so dependant aren’t they? Don’t let her get cold will you?”
“Do you have any spare clothes for her, do you want a blanket?”
“I hope she doesn’t catch a cold. I’m used to seeing them all wrapped up.”
It’s easier to just squeeze the baby’s sweaty little legs into her too-small winter outfit, than to keep trying to explain the situation to my dear, well meaning, deaf-as-a-post Grandma.
We hightail it to the shops to find the baby a clean suit. On the way there, we get held up in traffic. The baby is crying, and the whining from the tired three year old with the mozzie bites on her legs, is getting progressively louder; I resist the urge to pull on the handbrake, get out of the car and SCREAM.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for.. Krispy Cream.
The Krispy Cream donuts that my wonderful Dad and friend gifted me (technically they were gifted to ‘us’.. but let’s not get caught up on the technicalities). The donuts that I broke my diet for (the diet I started last night after eating our entire Emergency Chocolate stash). The donuts that were my day’s silver lining.
How, I hear you ask yourself, did we get from car seat poonamis; to Krispy Cream donuts?
I don’t know either, my friend.
But I sure am glad that we’re here.